In truth, it’s very difficult to know where the work ends and the blessings begin.
Preparing and leading worship at St Paul’s Presbyterian in the interim has been one of those “jobs” that doesn’t feel like a “job”. This fact is quite shocking due to the fact that a just a year ago (and before), I never thought I had the credentials nor talent to actually lead a worship team and church into songs of praise. I always left that “job” to those who seemed so much more talented and “worthy” than me…
I enjoyed it really, being part of a team…with little responsibility other than getting to practice and worship on time.
When the opportunity arose, being a former pastor’s eldest child (out of five), I took the role mainly because I knew the need was there…not necessarily because I expected to enjoy it or learn from it. When you grow up as the pastor’s child in a Korean church, you are expected to “give of yourself” without ever expecting to receive. I thought no differently to this church position.
In the beginning, it was truly a chore…choosing songs…putting together the bible readings…bowing to the demands of the pastoral staff who seemed SO particular about what they expected (song selection, passage selections, length of service, etc). Undoubtedly, my two week reprieve during the holiday season would be, I thought, a more than welcomed break.
But, no matter how “hard” the tasks were, worship leading had weaseled its way into being a large part of who I am. I came back DESPERATE to lead worship again…work with my awesome teammates again…sing with the church again!!
And somewhere between the desperation and the planning process, I found God waiting for me…waiting to pour His blessings down on me. As I began to take the role more seriously, using planning time as Bible Study time, and really delving into the biblical truths within the songs I chose, my focus on worship changed from “just picking songs” to “preparing a time a worship”. And ever since, I revel in my times spent with the Lord, deliberating with Him what He would have me prepare for the next Sunday.