Family · Letters · Work

Ambiguities in August: The (maybe) Final "Summer"

beautiful blue skies

I’ve been staring at the skies recently, in complete awe of how July has passed us by with no more than one week of hot/humid weather (REAL summer weather).  In all seriousness, the past couple of weeks in July felt more like September/October…so much so that I think my mind has already started to believe winter is just around the corner.

But it’s not…we still have August…
and a couple months of Fall to deal with…
More often than not, we were blessed with clear blue skies, a sweet breeze (which could drop temperatures anywhere between a nice 70-something degrees to a God-forsaken, chilly temperature in the mid-fifties), and a feeling of clarity in the air that I had never felt in the sweltering, humid summers of the South (which I may or may not miss…usually not).  These were the days we had long awaited during our long, long, LONG winter…and blissfully enjoyed as much as we possibly could!

…open up the skies of mercy…rain down Your cleansing flood…

But there were also days where the sky would turn a bit darker…and grayer…as it would (usually) pour down its week long offering of precipitation, filling up the ponds, lakes, and rivers to their fullest capacities (and sometimes being overly generous, leading to many a flood warnings). 

MSU under [Red Cedar] water!!
I can’t golf under these conditions! (as if I could in any condition)

While it’s been a pleasant summer, the back and forth of the weather (the warmth of the sun giving way to the chilly winds giving way to skies that pour down more than abundant rain) is a bit unsettling.  It’s like the sky is smiling one minute…and then crying the next.

It makes me wonder…does the sky know that this summer may be the last Michigan summer we get to partake of?  Does it know in just one short year, it is a real possibility that the An family will need to pick up our lives and, as we take on the next step as a physician, physician’s wife, and physician’s canine, move to places unknown again? 

Does it know…and perhaps is celebrating or weeping on our behalf?

There are those days when our joy radiates like sunshine and clear skies, as a fellowship program offers him an interview.  But those days are closely followed by the storm clouds of realization that the interview is taking place in Colorado, opening the floodgates of fearful tears as the doubts start creeping in.  COLORADO?  We don’t know anything (or, more importantly, anyONE) in Colorado!  Will I be able to find ANOTHER job in ANOTHER new town??  We would be starting from square one again!

And that’s just the beginning…there are so many other places where we could end up.  New Jersey…Florida…Nevada…Oklahoma…and (our greatest hope) remaining in Michigan (or more specifically in the Lansing area).

After all…the chances of us meeting our “Spartan heroes”
in those other places are a lot slimmer.  *sigh*

So many questions.  So many uncertainties.  So much excitement accompanied by the fear of not knowing what lies ahead for us.  It’s enough to leave the strongest of us in a haze of doubt and worry.

It’s in these times we need to be reminded that the sun (Son) always shines through…and even if the way it (He) shines is unfamiliar to us, it (He) shines brightly.  It (He) gives us peace and hope that, despite the “chill” that accompanies that (His) beautiful light, there is always clarity in the crisp, cool summer light.  And even when the storm clouds darken the sky, we can rejoice because we know that with the rain (Him) comes abounding provision…so much that the ponds/lakes/rivers that have run dry will be filled…no, FLOODED…with the blessings that pour down from above.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans 
for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
~ Jeremiah 29:11 ESV 

Blessed are the people to whom such blessings fall! 

Blessed are the people whose God is the Lord!
~ Psalm 144:15 ESV

So, we will trust in His goodness…and His plans to give us a future and a hope.  And whatever form the blessings take that fall upon us, we will give thanks to the our Lord God.

But if at all possible, Lord…will You let us 
remain here just a little while longer?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
A Prayer Request…
Family and friends…we ask you all to pray for us as we go through yet another transition year.  As InChul/Tyler is seeking to be accepted into a GI fellowship program, we are once again in limbo, unsure of where we will be next year.  
Our greatest hope is to remain here for his next 3 years of training, because, for all intents and purposes, it would save us a lot of time, energy, and resources.  Plus, I’m not quite ready to leave this place yet…I feel that there is still something left for me to do here in East Lansing, Michigan.  
Still, we know need to be prepared for whatever God has set to be the next step in our journey.  So, when you have a moment…
  • The desire of our heart is to remain here…so, if it is His will, that God would pave a way for that to happen.
  • If it is NOT in His plan to have us remain here, that God would give us peace that He has what’s best in store for us.  Also, that He would provide us with the means to be able to transition to a new place (especially a job for me, as I will need to work while InChul/Tyler is doing his GI fellowship).

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