Giving Thanks · Marriage

A Memoriam of Love [That Almost Wasn’t]

Greeting, blog followers!  Obviously, my blogging has been sparse as of late (nonexistent is a better word).  It’s been a crazy few weeks with work, travel, and other things going on that the blog unfortunately fell to the wayside.  And while I’m not promising that the frequency of posts will get any better anytime soon (HOPEFULLY soon), I did want to commemorate a momentous occasion that occurred yesterday.

The hubby and I celebrated our five year anniversary as a married couple!

While there is much I can say about our relationship this past half decade, I thought that this previous post actually spoke volumes of how far we have come in the past five years and how much we have grown together.  It all starts at the beginning…and the love that almost wasn’t.

That’s right…almost wasn’t…except that God graciously decided to intervene.


So this (reprise) post is once again dedicated to the above “goofball,” who has completely changed my life.

No, not that one…THAT ONE!  On the left…YOUR left!!  Your OTHER left!! 

OK…I know it’s hard picking out which “goofball” I’m speaking of because we’re both, more or less, goofball-esque in our own right (we are each others’ greatest rival in the world of shenanigans and malarkey).

Most of the time (when I’m not tired, cranky, moody, or worn out…which is more often than I’d like), we are so alike in mannerisms and thinking that it scares me.  While we have not gotten our “couple’s telepathy” completed fine-tuned and functioning yet, there is no doubt that we are not only husband and wife, we are one of each others’ best friend.  Everything we do, we want to involve the other person (whether the other person enjoys it or not…usually does enjoy) because we simply want to be around each other as much as possible.

Sickening, I know…but a very cute sickening, no?

Knowing this, would it surprise you that this is a “match” that probably would not have happened if I had anything to do with it?  Not saying I didn’t think he was a great guy and all…even before the attraction began, I could tell what an amazing person he was (and is).  He is the type of person who is able to gain the favor of others so easily, mainly because of his good-natured, calm, laid-back persona.  He’s loyal, loving, deeply insightful, and fun to be around.  Who wouldn’t love a guy like that?

The problem wasn’t him…the problem was me, and the past relationships that just didn’t work out too well.  While I won’t go into details about them, there were some specific filters that I set in place through my experiences with relationship of the past:

  • I would not date/marry anyone younger than myself.
  • I would not date/marry anyone who had aspirations to become a doctor.
  • I would not date/marry anyone who comes from a overly traditional Korean family (what with the rules, expectations, language barriers that would accompany such a guy).
  • I would seek to find someone who did not conflict with my creative/emotional self (meaning needing someone who wasn’t so practical/logical in thinking).

So the problem?

  • He’s two-and-a-half years younger than me.
  • When I met him, he was planning to become a Biology major and pre-med (and is currently an Internal Medicine resident).
  • He is a self-proclaimed FOB (for those who don’t know, it stands for “Fresh Off the Boat”).
  • He is definitely scientifically minded…always wanting to “fix” my problems and being all too practical and logical for my taste

WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED HERE??
Long story short, God happened.  No joke.

I didn’t plan for this guy to somehow fly under the radar and supersede all of my filters.  I didn’t plan to fall in love with him.  I didn’t plan on spending the rest of my life with someone like him.  But God did…and no filter in my “anti-relationship arsenal” could counter the plans of God.

But in the end, God’s plan is obviously so much better than mine.  This guy’s calm, assertive, levelheadedness is just what I need to keep my flighty, temperamental self grounded.  He’s just enough “stubborn” to keep my own stubbornness in check, but also loving, humble, and kind enough to give in where he knows he should.  He is devoted and loyal to the point where I feel at peace, knowing I can trust him.

Best of all, God’s demonstration of grace through our relationship is astounding.  No matter how upset, unreasonable, and hotheaded I get, he has the innate ability to let it roll off his back (sooner or later) and love me…despite all of my shortcomings.  It’s this demonstration of grace that changes me…to be less selfish, less temperamental…and MUCH more loving.  While this may be an imperfect reflection, it is a reflection, nonetheless, of how we are changed by the grace of God.

“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.  The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works.”  (Titus 3:4-8 ESV)

Without loving kindness, there is no grace.  Without grace, there is no change.  Without change, I am left enslaved to the selfishness of my heart, unable to love and do good as I should (and I long to do).  It is through the perfect, loving grace of God that I can devote myself to Him and the hope of eternal renewal.  It is by the loving grace (not quite as perfect, but loving grace nonetheless) of my husband that I am moved to change and love and cherish him more…and show loving grace to him more as well.

So no matter what my plans were for the man I would spend the rest of my life with, it was the one who contradicted almost every logical requirement I had on my checklist of “The Perfect Guy for Lydia” that has brought me closer understanding to what true love, devotion, and grace is all about.  I’m pretty sure God is sitting upon His throne, looking down on me, and chuckling to Himself…knowing He had won me over by giving me everything I didn’t want, but everything I absolutely needed.

God – 1; Lydia -0

…and that is how it’s ALWAYS meant to be…

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