Musings of a Mommy | Chapter 18 – Living to Learn & Love

The signs are all there – fatigue, procrastination, dirty dishes, laundry yet to be folded…and of course the ubiquitous baby gear that has crowded our home (and after I swore to myself I would NOT purchase all this additional gear because “a baby doesn’t need so much”…HAH!). Our lives have officially be overtaken by this pint-sized human, who has much more influence in our lives than we ever dared imagined.

“It is good to be king!”

Before I became a mommy myself, I had always heard of new mothers complaining about how tired they were…how they were unable to get anything done…how they would KILL for just two or three hours of sleep. While I sympathized, I really didn’t understand how a tiny person (who is supposed to sleep for most of the day anyway) could ravage the timetables of every home they invade.

Until I had one of my own. And OH-MY-GOODNESS it became all too real.

Like…REAL real!!

Which explains my 7 week hiatus from this blog. Heh heh heh…

Of course, when a life-changing even occurs in your life, you tend to change and adapt to said changes. My body has learned to function on what would have been more than insufficient in my “past life” (aka my life BB…before baby). My Type A personality has given way to the need to sustain this new life. My home is in utter chaos and my desk is piled with paper, magazines, electronics, and bills that are vying for my attention (and crying to be paid). And, shocker of shockers, the independent, “I help everyone else” person within has begun to accept help from others (lest I go absolutely INSANE!!).

When they told me motherhood changes you, I didn’t realize just how profoundly.

Caring for and raising a child is by far the MOST DIFFICULT thing I have ever encountered in my life. But (at risk of sounding so cliche) it is by far the most rewarding. Because, after all…

The face that could melt even the hardest of hearts…

…this is the tiny human I get to serve and care for. As I tell him at LEAST once a day, “You’re lucky you’re so cute. You are surviving on ‘cute’ right now, you know!”

It’s all still new. It’s all still a bit daunting. I still fear I will do permanent damage to this defenseless little being. I still forget that I’m actually a mama to this beautiful bundle of love. But when he gives me that killer, open-mouthed smile (with a tiny little squeal of joy) when he sees me, I realize that we are both learning that I am his mama…and we love each other.

Either that, or he simply sees a meal ticket…and, boy, does he love to eat!

To the one who brings such much joy (as well as a great deal of stress and fatigue) in my life – God has changed me, through and through, when He gave you to me. Here’s to a lifetime of learning just what being a mama means (at all stages of your life).