So I had a pretty busy week last week, and didn’t have a chance to prepare a blog post for today. Lots of work projects and events to plan = need to focus on said projects/events. You know how it is sometimes.
But there was one very interesting thought I had last week that I really wanted to write about and it bothered me I wouldn’t have the time to do so.
Luckily, it’s a thought (more of a “lesson learned”) that I’ve already written about.
Now understand that, while the lesson in GENERAL is one I revisit time and time again, the person (nay, PEOPLE) the post describes has changed greatly over time (e.g. definitely not anywhere NEAR obsessive-compulsive anymore…but some of the anxieties still exist). While I still try to remind myself of these lessons, it’s fun to see how far I have come.
Hope you enjoy this revisit to the past!
Hello, my name is Lydia, and I MAY be somewhat obsessive-compulsive. I’ve never been clinically diagnosed, but just have a feeling I am.
Don’t let that cheesy grin fool you…she’s highly volatile!
By obsessive-compulsive, I’m talking about constantly nagging thoughts that causes me extreme anxiety, fear, and worry. These thoughts bother me to the point where I can’t help but be compelled to perform repetitive actions in hopes to alleviate said anxiety, fear, and worry.
Sometimes I wonder if I should get myself checked out.
One of the key areas in which this complex tends to rear its ugly head is when I am faced with a messy, cluttered living environment.
Side Note: I realize my desire to have children will only make the messy-cluttered-living-environment thing much more common and frequent in my life…and I’ll have to deal with that when I get there.
(Addendum: Yep…the clutter and messiness definitely intensifies when little people are involved. #totallyworthit)
I’ve always hated a messy room – but only if the messy room was MY room (my sisters can attest to my throwing junk into their room/side of the room just to keep it from cluttering mine). Therefore, I would revel in the act of purging things from my room, either giving them away or simply throwing them away (environment be darned, I’m going to have my clean room!). This always gave me a sense of calm in the midst of the anxiety driven chaos that is my internal being.
…now fast forward to today…
Nowadays, my mind has begun to second guess my need to purge clutter from my life, as the piles of STUFF continues to take over closets, drawers, shelves, and storage spaces without mercy. And I know exactly HOW this happened. SOMEONE (who happens to be married to me but is the polar opposite of me in this case – a.k.a. the pack rat!) has gotten the “but what if I really need/want it later” mantra stuck in my head.
He’s lucky he’s so danged good-looking…GAW!!
Don’t get me wrong…I totally understand why he is like this (learned behavior from parental figures). And yes, I know that he is right in his “waste not, want not” mentality. But the problem remains that I’m dealing with this obsessive-compulsiveness for a clean and de-cluttered living space (a neat freak) while starting to think like a pack rat.
…and that, my friends, could very well be a recipe for disaster…
But by the grace of God, this meeting of neat-freak and pack rat hasn’t been the disaster it could have been. Individually, we had both taken our faults to extremes, and it became an unhealthy situation both ways. Being as stubborn as we are, it’s surprising how we have learned to accept one another and the good side to the other person’s point of view. After all, both being neat and being economical with our limited resources are very good traits to have in the running of a household. For the past four years, 8 months, and 8 days, through moments of tension and stress, we have been learning to bring balance to what could otherwise be a chaotic situation.
- From him, I have learned to become more careful with what we have so that we do not need to continue spending our limited resources to buy more.
- Because of me, he is able to live in a relatively tidy home where we have let some of our material things go in order to keep from drowning in our possessions. After all, they are just “things” and we should not be compromising our comfort and sanity for the sake of keeping “things.”
Admittedly, we’re not always successful in staying level-headed as we knock heads (two very “hard-headed” heads), but we’re getting better at this compromise thing. Thanks be to God, who has changed our hearts and minds to love one another better and be considerate of the other, two very stubborn people can come together in the midst of conflicting views to smooth out each others’ rough edges until we both find balance and harmony in our lives.
But in order for this to be realized in our marriage, we must choose to not give into our individual pride and selfishness, causing animosity and division.
And, together, by choosing to compromise in conflict, we become more like Him…
…caring, gracious, and altogether loving….
…because He has put us together to help us grow closer to Him.
And I suppose that is what God had in His plans all along for us.
…God had plans for these two…and those plans were VERY good…